Condition
by BananaPeaceMonkeyKarmi
Summary: After being committed for the second time in her life, Tifa doesn't think she can get it back together. Especially since it's because she thinks she's hurt the kids. But then she meets her new psychiatrist... and his girlfriend. Now reposted as Anxiety.
1. Visitation

*sigh* I don't know what's wrong with me, but I can't seem to concentrate too greatly on "Purple Skies" at the moment. So, I'm just gonna go ahead and do this fic.  
Those of you who might feel offended, please don't. I'm not trying to get on anyone's bad side. I just thought that this type of situation for Tifa/Cloud would be something interesting to write about.

* * *

"So, how are you today?"

A girl with short black hair sat at a table across from a woman slightly older than her with long dark brown hair and burgundy colored eyes. That woman was her best friend. The girl was there because she knew that her friend became lonely at times, and that she needed her. She's been in need of her for the past couple of years.

"I'm fine. I mean, I thought that guard over there was staring at me the other day. In fact, I think he's staring at me now . . ."

The girl looked over her shoulder at a guard who stood at the entrance to the facility. He was looking at the ceiling, then at a window. All the girl knew was that he was not looking in their general direction.

"Tifa, I don't think--"

"He was, Yuf. He turned as soon as you looked at him."

Yuffie laughed. "Have you been taking your medication lately?"

Tifa shrugged. "In this place, I don't have much of a choice. But, if I did, I think I would still take them. God knows I need them." She sighed, looking down at the table into her hands. "Yuffie, do you think I'm crazy?"

The black-haired girl laughed again. "Well Tifa, technically, you are. But, I don't think you're crazy like, pyschopath crazy. I mean, you're not bad crazy. You're good crazy. Wacky and fun. So, yes, you are crazy."

They both laughed. The door opened, and they both looked over to see who it was out of curiosity. It was a man with brown hair. He looked nervous, as if he didn't want to be there. At the desk, he signed his name into what both women know to be the guest list, then went on about his way. Tifa looked down at her hands again, sighing.

Yuffie blew a piece of hair from her face. "Come on, let's go outside and sit on the benches. I think that'll do you some good." Tifa nodded, getting up with her.

Outside, the sunshine radiated down on both their forms. Tifa wasn't hot, thanks to the white pants and blouse she was wearing. Yuffie on the other hand started sweating almost as soon as she stepped out. Tifa stared at her for a minute.

"Why would you wear black pants and a grey shirt on a summer day? You know dark clothes absorb heat and light."

Yuffie shrugged. "I just picked something to wear. Grabbed the first thing out of my closet. Of course, the kids mixed up my summer and fall-winter clothes again."

Tifa giggled. "How are they?"

"Oh, they're great. When I gave Marlene her birthday present from you last week, she said she really liked it. Of course, she can't wear that sweater until the winter, but she said it looks really comfortable."

Tifa bent her head down, then looked back up. "They're not ashamed of me, are they?"

Yuffie's jaw dropped. "No, of course not!" Tifa sighed, shaking her head. Yuffie scooted closer to her, then wrapped her arms around her. "Oh come on Teef. The kids love you. They just want you to get better and come home."

Tifa shook herself out of her friend's grasp, jumping up. "That's the thing Yuf! I can't get better! I'll always be like this!" She sniffed. "I just . . . I don't want to put them in danger again. I don't even really remember it. I just remember Denzel's scared face when he was staring at me. I don't want to put them through that again."

Yuffie pat her shoulder. "You won't. Look Tifa, you won't always be this bad. I mean, you'll get better. You were good for a while, and you had a serious relapse. It's okay. It happens. None of this is your fault, okay?" Tifa nodded, sniffing. Yuffie looked down at her watch. "Ah crap. The kids'll be getting out of school soon. I'll bring them by to see you next weekend, okay?"

Tifa shrugged. "Please do Yuffie. I miss them so much." They both stood, hugging each other tightly. Yuffie bid Tifa farewell, then walked back inside the building. Tifa sat back down on the bench, watching the waves wash up on the shore. Her hair blew slightly from the wind. She sighed once again and buried her face in her arms which were sitting on her drawn up knees. For a moment, she thought about the past couple of months.

_I've put those kids through hell. They don't deserve someone like me. I mean, I was fine for so long. I thought that everything would be okay. What happened? Why did I relaspe like that? _She sighed, lifting her head. _Now I'm here in this stupid asylum because "the people" think I'm crazy. Well, I guess I'd rather have it be this way. If I didn't get committed, then Yuffie wouldn't have gotten to keep the kids because of her close relstionship with me. I guess I get in the way of everything._

Tifa stood up, turning and walking further away from the building to the hill that rose on the side of it. The waves crashed against it, creating a beautiful mist that lasted for only a second after a crash. She walked to the top, standing there for a brief moment. After a small war in her mind, she went up the very edge, then peered down into the water below. _I wonder how far that is . . . ?_

"You're not going to jump are you?"

The sound of a man's voice startled her, causing her to lean forward. She heard him running up behind her, but at the last minute, just when she thought she might topple over the edge, her body's center of balance shifted. She fell backwards on her rear.

"Are you alright?"

He was right there, his hand outstretched to her. She looked up to see deep blue eyes and a blonde mass of hair. It was in spikes, reaching for the sky and everything else around them. She giggled, taking his hand.

"What's funny?" he asked, hefting her up.

"Your . . . yourhair!" Tifa erupted into a fit of laughter. He just stood there, taking it all in and watching her. When she was done, she looked at him. "Why are you staring at me?"

"Because you are a very fascinating person."

She raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms. "I'm guessing you're one of the new guys. Well, let me tell you. This place is no joke. They make you take your medicine and--"

He chuckled, shaking his head. "No, I'm not being committed. I'm one of the psychiatric doctors. Are you Tifa Lockhart?"

She blinked, surprised at what he's just said(and asked) then embarrassed at what had come from her own mouth. _Am I really that stupid? _"Well, yeah, but why is that important?"

He chuckled again. "How about we take a few steps away from this cliff and go talk about it somewhere else?"

She nodded. "Okay." As they walked off, Tifa added, "You know I wasn't gonna jump right?"

* * *

I know that wasn't all that great. But it's 11:15 here, and I'm tired from not getting any sleep all week. Goodnight you guys ans PLEASE REVIEW!  
I mean it...


	2. Scene

Hmm...Well, that last chapter didn't seem all that great did it? Listen, don't expect a lot of actiony type stuff in this fic. It's all about getting through stuff.

* * *

"So, where do you sleep?"

Tifa glanced at the man who had--in a way--saved her life. No, she wasn't going to jump, but he helped her snap back to reality. If she stayed that way for too long, she probably would have toppled over the edge, never to be seen again. Well, not alive.

"Well, I sleep with this light . . .," she stopped in the middle of the hallway and turned around sharply to face him. "But, it's not like I'm afraid of the dark or anything. I just wanna look out for those people who might want to 'do away with me'."

He laughed. "Who would want to do that?"

She scoffed. "Lots of people." She turned back around, leading him further down the hall and around a corner. There were different people, mostly nurses and other doctors who were eyeing them both in a wierd fashion. It took Tifa a moment to realize that it was the blond man they were eyeing, not her. _Who ever said they might not be plotting against me too?_

Tifa stopped at a room with a steel door. She glanced behind her at the blond man, who's facial expression had not changed very much since they left the cliff. He seems very nonchalant about everything. _What the heck is he so . . . not nervous about? He's in an asylum, with **me **of all people! _She sighed, grabbing the doorknob.

As soon as her hand touched the metal turning, there were several screams down the hall. Both Tifa's and the man's heads shot up to look at what the commotion about.

There, near the window, was the man Tifa and Yuffie saw entering earlier. His hair was sweated out and sticking to his forehead. Tifa lifted her hand, walking a little ways past Cloud to see. The brown haired man was standing near a window, his right hand down on his side. Tifa could tell he was holding something, but she had no idea what it was. He was backing away from a crowd of people, closer and closer to the window. She thought that he might jump out backwards. _Why won't they stop him? Why won't they get near him? _She stopped and thought again. _Wait. Why are they so concerned about him? He's a guest! . . . Unless he's some guest that needs to be committed . . .Oh no._

"This has happened before," she whispered. The blue eyed man came up to her side, putting a hand softly on her shoulder. She barely noticed.

"Tifa, do you know what's going on?"

She shrugged, stepping out of his grasp and towards the man at the window. By now, he had revealed what he was holding in his hand--a handgun, and at this moment it was pointed at his head. _I can't believe this. Why does happen? _

She heard the footsteps on the blond man behind her, but ignored them. _Oh gosh, what if this guy actually kills himself? I hope that doesn't happen. That would be terrible. I wonder why he hadn't been committed before . . . _All kinds of thoughts raced through her mind as she neared this man. The only thing that stopped her was the blond psychiatrist. He'd ran up behind her, taking a firm, but gentle, grip by her arms.

"Please, let me go!" Tifa begged. "You don't understand! He could kill himself! It's happened before."

He swirved her around so that he could look her in her eyes. "It has? Why doesn't this place have security? I mean, like metal detectors or something?"

Tifa shrugged. "I don't know." She turned her head to look behind her at the man. He was screaming at the doctors and nurses trying to approach him.

"Listen sir, we could help--"

"Shut up! None of you can help me! You can't help me get my job back! My wife left me for some punk who still lives with his mother! You can't help me get her, or my dignity back!"

Tifa looked back at Cloud. "This is serious. He means everything he's saying."

"And how do you know that?"

She blinked, unsure of what to say. _How can he ask something like that? Does he not see this man? _"Why _wouldn't _he mean it? The guy is backed against a window with a gun to his head. He means it." Her eyes averted to the floor. "I know from personal experience."

The blond loosened his grip on her, staring at her for a few moments. _I have something much bigger on my hands than I thought. Maybe my professor was right . . .No. She's not that bad._

He let her go, but she didn't move. "Tifa?"

"They're telling me to talk to him." Her head snapped up, her eyes watered, but not spilling. "_They're _telling _me _to talk to him. Let me."

He sighed, nodding. She was grateful that he understood what she meant. As she turned around, Tifa heard him whisper, "Don't get too close."

The brunette calmly and slowly walked toward the brown haired-man. He was still shouting things, but by now, they weren't making much sense. At least not to her.

_Talk to him. _

_You could save him._

_Make up for what you've done._

She shook her head. _Please, leave me alone. _For a minute, the crazed man didn't notice her. After a while, his eyes began averting to her frame, until all his attention was on her.

"Don't you dare take another step lady."

She stopped, both feet firmly planted on the ground. She could see the gun clearly now; a shiny, sleek black thing of destruction. His finger was on the trigger, shaky, but firm.

"What do you want?" His voice was cold.

"I just . . . I think you are mistaken."

An incredulous look crossed his features. "What the hell do you mean?"

"You . . . you don't want to do this. Trust me."

His grip tightened around the gun. "Oh yeah? And just what the hell do you know?"

She took a deep breath and sighed. _He better be lucky he's on the brink of suicide. _"I . . . was the same as you once. I thought that nothing could help me."

He swore. "Nothing _can _help me lady."

"Yes . . . yes it can. Something can. There's got to be something you want to live for."

He shook his head. "Like what? What can I have that isn't taken from me?"

Tifa paused for a moment, trying to get her thoughts together. "Do you have children?"

His eyebrows knitted together. "What?"

"Kids. Do you have any?"

He scratched his head with the gun. It frightened Tifa. "Well . . . I do . . . but they don't like me anyways! Why should I care?"

"You could try . . try to appeal to them. Try to prove them wrong. Anyone who doesn't believe in you, like your wife, why don't you try to prove them wrong? This isn't the way to go."

He growled, pointing the gun at her. She stayed where she was, but heard the gasp of the blond man a few feet behind her, along with those of several other people. "What the _hell _do you know? You don't know nothing about me! I've been through a lot and I don't--"

Tifa snarled, fed up already with this man. "Don't you think everyone here is a bit fed up? All of us have our problems. Do you know who I am?"

He scoffed. "No. Why should I?"

She smiled a joyless smile, reaching up to grab her hair. "Maybe this might help." Both her hands grabbed handfuls of hair, then held it up like a ponytail. He man gasped, nearly losing his grip on the gun.

"You're . . . you're Tifa Lockhart."

She nodded. "Yep, and a lot of people think that by now, I would have killed myself too. But I haven't. I've been taken away from my kids because of what's wrong with me. When I'm out in public, people who recognize me stay a good twenty feet away, because they're afraid I'll do the same thing to them I did to that guy three years back. No one wants to forget it. But I do. I want to forget everything that I've ever done wrong. I don't want to be like this. But I am. And I'm living with it. I'm proving all those people out there that I can be sane, even if it's only for a little while. So please, don't think I don't understand. I do." She stared him down for a moment longer, before he had to look away. She gulped, then turned on her heel and walked away, past the psychiatrist. He stayed there for a minute, watching the man. He still had put the gun back to his head, but at this moment, he looked unsure of what to do. The blond shook his head, and went after Tifa.

When he caught up to her, she was sitting outside again, on a bench, staring out at the ocean. Her eyes were a bit glazed over. She looked troubled.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

She shrugged. "I . . . I got through to him. They were right. I could save him, and I did." She stared at the blond for a long time. "I don't know the last time I've had a positive impact on someone."

The psychiatrist nodded. "Are you sure you got through?"

She nodded. "Yes. I think I might have been the only one who understood him. If I'm not . . . then I'm the only one who showed it."

He nodded, leaving it at that.

Later that day, he found out that the man hadn't killed himself, and was committed.

* * *

You gotta love Tifa. She's a life saver! (quite literally)


	3. Memory

HALLO THERE READERS!  
It's been awhile hasn't it? Since my lazy self decided to post something eh?  
No, I'm not lazy my readers. I've actually been really busy with school and such. Aaand it sux.  
BUT LUCKILY.....  
School gets out in a week! ONE WEEK! So, that means more updates . . . and such!!!  
So if you read this, that will make me happy! A happy author is a good one xD....Maybe. I guess. Dunno...

* * *

Tifa lay in bed that night, thinking of the day's events. She wasn't very sure about what she'd done with that man earlier, but she was glad she got to help someone. _I haven't helped someone in a long time. I wish I could do the same for my kids . . . for Marlene and Denzel. _She felt her eyelids becoming heavier with every breath she took. _I'm so tired . . . but I don't want to go to sleep._ She felt like a stubborn two year old. Her behavior briefly reminded her of Denzel when he doesn't want to go to sleep at night. She giggled at the image of him slumping on the sofa, his eyes closed as he strained to sit up and continue to watch the television. _Luckily Marlene's not that stubborn. _She kept company with herself with these pleasant thoughts, and eventually fell asleep.

_That was all she heard. The hard pitter-patter noises the rain made against the windowpane in the living room. The thunderstorm had blown the power out in the house, but luckily she was able to find some matches and candles. They were lit up all around the house. She kept a lot of them. __**They calm me down. Help me feel a little better sometimes. **__That's exactly what she needed at the moment. The calm, soothing feeling of the candles. But, because of her current situation, they were doing nothing but casting intimidating shadows across the room._

"_Marlene? Come on sweetheart. It's okay. Denzel? Please come out. I'm fine. Everything's okay."_

_**Why would they believe me? I don't even believe my own words . . .**_

_**You hurt him again.**_

_**He will never forgive you.**_

_**He hates you.**_

"_Shut up! He does not hate me!" Tears were forming in her eyes, but she refused to let __**them**__ see that anything was wrong. "Denzel? Denzel, you don't hate me do you?" She waited, listened for some kind of answer, but got nothing. There was nothing but she rain to reassure her, but that only made her feel worse. "Please . . . please answer me . . ." She shook her head, not realizing that those last words were said too quietly for anyone else to hear but herself._

_**Just do away with yourself.**_

_**You're not doing any good here.**_

_**Obviously, no one loves you. You're nothing here.**_

_**Do the world a favor.**_

_She began sobbing, falling to the floor and holding herself by the middle. Her arms wrapped around her stomach, rocking back and forth. There was nothing but the rain and the voices that she kept hearing. They were whispering to her from different parts of the room, and she wanted them to stop. __**Please . . . please stop. Leave me alone. Leave me alone . . . I just want to be left alone . . .**_

_She thought she heard something down the hall, where she last saw both Marlene and Denzel. Her head snapped up, and she looked down the hall. There was nothing but darkness that fought against the light of the candles. She gulped, slowly getting up. _

"_Marlene?"_

_She took a few steps down the hall, looking every which way in hopes of catching a glimpse of the two children. The shadows cast by the candles onto the picture frames and vases of flowers and toys in the hall were frightening images to the woman. She jumped every time a figure danced on the wall, or yelped when she thought something was reaching out to take her. _

_**To the kitchen. **_

_**Go to the kitchen.**_

_**You have something waiting on you in the kitchen.**_

_She looked around her, afraid and confused with the instructions. __**The kitchen . . . ? What's in the kitchen . . . ? **_

_As soon as she got there, she knew. She saw it, gleaming and bright on the counter. She had been using it earlier to cut vegetables. Some of the greenery was still sitting there next to the blade. She stared at it for a long time, not exactly knowing what to do. And then it struck her._

_**Why hadn't I thought of this . . . before?**_

_She slowly approached the counter. When she reached it, her legs felt like jello, as if they would support her no longer. Her hands tightly gripped the edge of the counter, her knuckles turning white only after a few minutes. She stared at the knife for a long time, not knowing whether or not she should pick it up, or just leave it there and try to talk to them about the situation._

_**No . . . I can't just leave them like this.**_

_**Yes you can.**_

_**Why does it matter? They hate you.**_

_**They hate you.**_

_**They will never love you again.**_

_**No! Lies!**_

_No matter how many times she tried to tell herself that the voices were lying, the more they spoke, the more she believed them. She wasn't needed here. No one loved her. Not anymore. _

_**Has anyone ever loved me?**_

_**Your father definitely didn't.**_

_That last insult did it for her. She grabbed the knife, noticing that it wasn't too big. It was one of her smaller kitchen knives, which she was thankful for. __**What will it matter? I won't feel anything anymore soon.**_

_At first, she felt the sharp pain as she air hit her first cut. She hissed through her teeth, and then saw the blood that ran thinly down her arm. Fascinated, and yearning to see more, she continued with her task._

_Within five minutes, she had enough cuts on both arms. Her head was spinning. The room was slightly tilted to one side. She saw the shadow of the trashcan, and thought it was a monster that was coming to finally take her from the dreadful world she lived in._

"_Please . . . I don't matter to anyone anymore." _

"_Tifa!!"_

_She tried to lift her head from the ground. By this time she had fallen onto the floor on her side. She couldn't move, or, she couldn't feel herself moving. There were a couple of pairs of feet that softly hit the ground before coming to a stop in front of her. _

"_Tifa! Tifa what happened?!"_

"_Please get up Tifa! Get up!"_

_Tifa tried again to lift her head. To speak, to say something to soothe them. __**Don't worry. Everything will be fine. I won't hurt you anymore. **__When she could finally open her eyes, she saw the tearstained face of Marlene. Tifa saw the little girl trying to shake her, and it was then that she could feel her small hands on her arm. Denzel was behind Marlene. He was on the phone, staring wide-eyed at Tifa. Tifa could see a red stain on Marlene's shirt, and she wondered what it could be. __**Have you been playing with the clay again? **__Tifa wanted to ask, but found that her mouth was not working. There was a pool of the red stuff near her, in front of her, and she noticed that Marlene was trying to not get into it. It was then that Tifa realized that pool had to be her blood._

_The door opened, or she thought the door opened, and she also thought she heard the shrill scream of her best friend. _

"_Tifa! Oh my God, Tifa what have you done?!"_

_Marlene was gone in a flash. Tifa saw Yuffie rush to her, hands full of towels. She lifted Tifa up and placed the towels onto her arms as she dialed a number onto her cell phone._

"_My friend! She's bleeding on the floor! Please, please you've got to send someone here! Help me!"_

_Whatever happened after that Tifa was not aware of. She collapsed as Yuffie relayed the operator their address._

Tifa woke up panting and sweating in her bed. She suppressed a scream so that the doctors wouldn't have to pay her another visit for a false alarm. She found herself very hot, and almost unable to take it. She lifted her shirt from her body, then her shorts. For a few moments, she sat there on the bed in her underwear, trying to cool down a little. It didn't help that she didn't have a window to open, or some sort of way to turn up the air conditioning. It was quite cool in her room, but her nightmare prevented her body from being the same way.

_I can't believe how much I've put them through._

She gulped, getting up from her place on the bed and going over to the wall. The cement was always cool to the touch. She sat against it, breathing heavily. Her knees were drawn up to her chest, her head back against the wall. She thought again of the images those kids must have seen. Those that will never leave them. Tifa grew angry with herself and growled, then banged her head against the wall behind her.

_God I can't believe what I've put them through! What kind of mother am I supposed to be to them huh? I'm terrible! I'm a horrible, terrible mother!_

She got up, desperately looking around the room for something, anything that will aid her in what she failed in before. Of course, her room is suicide-proof. _They did this on purpose . . . But why wouldn't they? They __**are**__ supposed to protect me from myself eh? _

There was nothing but the bed, the walls, and a table. Her room was so plain, but that was really because she was new. Until she got used to being here, and until she became a little more stable, she wouldn't be moving out of this room any time soon.

_That's what they think._

Tifa began throwing herself against the walls of the room, screaming while she did it. She did not scream words. It was only her voice that reverberated around the room and was ultimately heard outside of it. She could hear through the door the rushing doctors and administrators that were going to come now to try to shut her up. _Try it! Try. It! _

The door opened, and in ran two men to hold her down.

"No! No let me go! You won't control me anymore! Nooo!"

She kicked and clawed a number of other things to try and get out of their grasp. She couldn't escape; there was one person blocking the doorframe. She growled, lashing out with a fist and catching one man square in the chest. He fell back coughing. She threw out a kick then, but her leg was caught.

_Are you an idiot? They know that you're skilled in martial arts._

Tifa let out a defeated cry, but her body refused to show it. She tried again the get away, but by this time the two men had her down on the bed. Her vision was blurry with her own tears, but through them she could see yellow. A yellow mass that seemed to be reaching for the sky, and clear blue eyes that disgraced heaven's canopy. She sighed, sobbing now, and feeling suddenly very sleepy.

"I don't want to hurt them anymore . . . Please let me be."

The blue and yellow disappeared, only to be replaced by the black that gave gloom to the night.

* * *

YAAY! IF YOU'RE DOWN HERE THAT MEANS YOU READ IT!

Hopefully....  
Anyhoo PLEASE REVIEW!!!!  
If you review, that'll let me know that not everyone has given up on me! And that will let me know to keep writing so that people WON'T give up on me!!!  
We don't want that now do we???  
Hope not...  
Okay I'll try to come back as soon as I POSSIBLY CAN do update somemore!!!!!  
And I'm sorry about "Purple Skies" but I haven't gotten around to doing something about that yet.....  
Anyhoo, see ya 'round!!


	4. Office Visit

Yaay! This story is doing good! Which makes me happy! Which makes me write more, which makes you guys happy, which is all I want, and that makes you read more, and that makes me happy and . . .  
Yeah! Soo, WHOOHOO!!!  
And no. I have not forgotten about Cloud's girlfriend.

* * *

Her body felt heavy. It was almost as if she couldn't move. She knew that she had to be sleeping for a long time to feel like this.

_Or they sedated me. Again._

It was a while before she recognized her fingers from her toes. When she finally realized that everything was accounted for, she opened her eyes. Or, she tried to. Tifa found it hard to do, seeing as her eyelids felt like lead. She clenched her teeth, breathing through them, and heard a gasp from . . . somewhere in the room. She became very still. She heard nothing else. Once again she tried opening her eyes, and this time her efforts were not in vain. The only problem was that she ended up closing them again. _Talk about a wasted effort._

From what she gathered for that split second, the room was very bright. She figured she was laying directly under an incandescent light. She didn't like it, and, in turn, that made her hate incandescent lighting. _I never want to see another one again. _She sighed, then caught her breath. _What is that?_ She felt a strange sensation on her arm, as if someone were touching her. _Who's . . . who's grabbing my arm? _She gulped, refusing to open her eyes to see who or what it might be. It had a hold of her arm now, shaking her softly. She let out a slow, deep breath, and opened her eyes, looking to her left.

There were the tiny hands of little Marlene, with a red stain on her white shirt.

Tifa let out a scream, sitting up abruptly and scooting all the way to the edge of the bed. The figure disappeared, a sad, frightened look on the small girl's face. Tifa grabbed her arm, her eyes wide as she stared down at the fabric she sat upon. It was then that she felt another pair of hands on her right arm. She shook her head.

"L-lemmego."

She heard herself, her speech garbled, and sighed, taking another deep breath. "Let. Me. Go," she said slowly. Looking now, she saw that all too familiar yellow mass of spikes and the wondrous clear blue sky beneath them. She took in a sharp breath through her teeth then, suddenly finding herself very angry with him.

"So, you're plotting against me too?"

To her amazement, he laughed at her. "That must be the most absurd thing I've ever heard."

She felt like slapping him. _I'm not restrained. So that means I-- _She gasped, looking down and around her. There were no straps holding her down to a bed, keeping her down. _That's why I could move just now . . . _Looking back at the man, a confused look on her face, she asked, "You're not trying to control me then?"

He shook his head. "No. I'm just trying to help you."

She threw her head back and cackled at that. "Help me? Sticking a needle into my shoulder--" Tifa stopped suddenly, forgetting just what she was going to say. She only stared at the opposite end of the room, seeing that it was not a wall with cement bricks like she was accustomed to, but a flat, red wall. _Like the one in my house. Well, the texture at least. My wall at home is green. _

"What were you going to say?"

She shook her head, releasing herself from her previous thoughts. "Huh?"

"You just stopped. What were you going to say?"

Tifa's eyebrows furrowed, now thinking of what exactly she was saying earlier. "I-I dunno. I forgot. It's like the thought was taken right out of my head or something . . ."

The man next to her sighed, getting up from where he was. She looked at him, wondering what he was thinking about at the moment. _Probably of some kind of way to get rid of me. Sure, he seems nice and everything, but the nice people are always the ones to treat you the worse in the end. He probably stole my thought from me . . ._

_You sound absolutely idiotic right now._

"I do not!"

The man turned back to her, an eyebrow raised. Hers furrowed, and she turned away from him. Tifa heard another sigh, which did not help her current mood.

"What? Do you think I'm a wack-job too?"

He shook his head, and that surprised her. "No. I don't. I don't think you're crazy. Not . . . not bad crazy."

_He sounds like Yuffie, _Tifa thought to herself.

"But, I do think that you really need help."

"You think I don't know that either?" She got up from the bed, feeling the cold sensation of the floor on her naked feet. He didn't look afraid of her, and she didn't know why he should be. _Most people like me aren't violent. _"I do need it. I need it really bad. I got taken away from my kids because of what's wrong with me!" Tifa hugged herself, angry and sad with who she was. _Why me? Why am I like this?_

She sat down on the floor, and stayed very still. The psychiatrist sat down quietly next to her. "How many kids do you have?" he whispered.

"Two," she answered almost immediately. "Th-they're not mine. I adopted them. Or rather, I found Denzel on the street one day and just took him in. Marlene . . . well, I have this friend who works around the world mostly. Looking for some new energy source or something. He asked me to take care of her." She gulped, finding that her thoughts were scattered for a moment. After collecting them, she continued. "When he was finally ready to settle back down, he asked her if she wanted to stay with him, and she said no. He visits often. I'm surprised he hasn't gone and taken her back yet."

"Maybe he wants the best for you. He's not going to take her back when you need her, and Denzel, as much as I think you do."

She only nodded, refusing to move more than she had to. Tifa was actually waiting on him to ask that question that she knew she wouldn't want to answer.

"How long?"

She gulped, turning slightly towards him. "H-how long what?"

"You know what. How long, Tifa, has it been since you've taken your medicine?"

She sighed, letting out a shuddery breath. "Too long. I think maybe a week."

"That's ten doses you've missed out on."

"I know!" She took another deep breath, trying her best to calm herself. "I-I know that. It's just . . . I don't like taking it!"

"And why not?"

Tifa was starting to lose her patience with him. _Why's he asking me all these questions? Why does it matter? _"I don't like taking it because it makes me throw up sometimes. And I get a headache, which is something I already have most days. Most nights, I can't sleep . . ."

He sighed. "Tifa, with a lot of medication, there are side-effects like that. It can't really be helped. I wish I could take them away, but that's really how your body is responding to the medicine."

"Well, I don't like it." She puts her eyes on his frame, watching him to see how he would respond to that. He says nothing, just looks at her for a moment before standing up and taking a few steps around the room. "You know, you seem very interested in me. Why?"

He doesn't respond right away. The psychiatrist just keeps pacing, thinking about the last time he saw his teacher.

_"You know you're taking on a very hard task my boy."_

_"Yes sir. I understand that. But, I don't think she's as bad as everyone makes her out to be."_

_"That's good. You have confidence. Never doubt the patient."_

_"Never."_

He stops, sighing, looking down at the floor. _Never doubt the patient. I never have. Not with her. She's not a bad person. Her case is just more severe than most others. And that's okay. I can help her. _He turns back toward her, a small smile on his face. "Well, that's a bit hard to explain. Let's just say that you need me, and I kind of need you too. Except, I don't need you in the same way . . ."

Tifa growled. "I'm not needy--!"

"I don't mean it like that! Sure, you'll be fine without me, but I think that maybe . . . well, I think differently than the other doctors. Let's put it that way."

She snorted. "We sure are covering up a lot of things today."

He laughed. "Yes well . . . I have to. That's a part of my job."

"No, you're job is to help crazy people like me."

He shook his head. "Actually, you are my only "crazy person" to help. I don't have anyone else I'm supposed to be supervising."

Tifa sat there for a moment, dumbfounded. _What? I'm his only patient? That can't be right! _"How long have you been in this business?"

"That another story is for another day."

They sat there, silent for a while. Tifa had nothing else to really ask him, and he had nothing else to tell. _Obviously. _She stayed there on the floor for a few minutes, the cool tile relaxing her. She liked it. _This is better than those candles. _Taking a deep breath, she let it out slowly, then did it again. Tifa continued to breathe like this for the remainder of the time she was on the floor. She wasn't paying any attention to what her "supervisor" was doing, even though she found herself very interested in what he did. _And he's very into me. But for what reason? What he said didn't really answer my question. _Looking at him, she saw that he was fiddling around with some things on a desk. She hadn't taken in the furniture before, and now she realized that the bed she was laying on wasn't really a bed, but one of those couches she has so often sat on to talk to a psychiatrist like himself. _Well, maybe not like him. Those other people only seem interested in what I'm saying and trying to crack me open. He's actually interested in **helping** me. Yeah, cracking me open is a part of his job, but he wants to make this better for me, not for himself. I appreciate that a lot. _

Tifa wasn't sure whether or not she should voice her thoughts to him, but she decided not to. He seemed too busy with whatever was on, what she assumed, _his _desk. _Wonder what he's doing . . ._Tifa got up slowly, not wanting to feel dizzy from the sudden movement. He turned around slightly to look at her, then continued with what he was doing. She heard a small clanking noise, and knew that the sound was a familiar one. When she was directly behind him, she tapped his shoulder lightly. "May I ask what you are doing?"

"You already did." He faced her, one hand balled up into a loose fist in front of him, the other holding a small cup of water. Tifa wondered where the water might have come from, but then saw the large water jug sitting on top of a fountain behind the desk, which was behind him. He held out the hand with the water, and she took it. He then held out his other hand, fingers facing downward, and she put her hand underneath it to catch whatever it was that was enclosed in his hand. She regretted doing so after two small pills fell from his hand to her own. Tifa had every mind to throw them onto the floor, but something made her stop.

_Take them. _

_You know you need to._

_Quit acting like a stupid two year old and take them!_

"I'm not acting like a two year old!" Tifa's eyes grew big as she stared at him, who only mimicked her expression. "S-sorry about that. I'll just take these now." He nodded, and she turned around, taking a few steps around the room. One pill entered her mouth, and she took a swallow of water. She repeated this once more, then gasped. "Ugh, I hate this."

"I know you do, but you have to take them. It's only going to help you."

She shook her head. "Yeah, that's what they all say."

He laughed at her. "You are a very intriguing person. Does that answer your question from earlier?"

"No, but I'll take it." He began rummaging around his desk again, and Tifa decided to take a look around the room. She spotted a file on the opposite end of the bed that she once inhabited. There was a name on it that read _"Strife."_

"Strife?" she said quietly. He looked at her, and saw that she was focused on the file. He laughed again. "That's my last name. I'm Cloud Strife."

Facing him, she giggled. "Oh yay. Now I know the name of my mysterious psychiatrist. Well," she said, walking up to him, holding out her hand, "it's nice to meet you Cloud Strife, my psychiatrist. My name is Tifa Lockhart, insane schizophrenic extraordinaire." He took her hand, shaking it, chuckling at the same time. She only smiled. _I think we'll get along just fine._

And just when she thought everything would be okay, the door opened. Tifa looked at it, and in the doorway was a woman wearing a pink dress. Her hair was long, brown and twisted. Tifa tilted her head to one side. At the sight of the both of them, a sour look clouded the woman's eyes, a fake smile playing on her lips.

_Oh my. I think we just might have a problem then . . .__

* * *

_Well then, that was Chappi Four! I'm very happy with the way this fic is playing out. And, if you guys are happi, then that's good! Please, let me know about anything, anything at all, that I can do to make it better. If you have questions, please ask! I'll answer them to the best of my ability.  
Told you I hadn't forgotten xDD


	5. Farewell

Okay then so are we ready for the girlfriend?!  
Much love goes out to:  
_**JuneZz, babysweettart, Chaotic Symphony, Katreda, cloudlover2989, vLuna, mom calling, Aeriths-Rain, HisaAngel  
**_Thanks you guys, fer reviewing last chappie!!

* * *

The woman stared at the both of them, her smile gone from her face. She had no idea what was going on, and she didn't want to think the worse. _Cloud's a good man. He wouldn't do that to me . . ._ She gulped, smiling again.

"Hi there!" she said, the gleefulness in her voice as it usually was.

Cloud laughed. He let go of Tifa's hand, walking over to the new woman. "Hey hun." He kissed her cheek, then looked at Tifa. "Tifa, I would like for you to meet Aerith. She's a . . . good friend of mine."

Both Tifa and Aerith laughed, the former out of spite, the latter in playfulness. "Oh yeah. I bet she's a good friend alright." Smiling, she walked up to the woman wearing the pink dress and held out her hand. "Hi. I'm Tifa. Pleasure to meet you."

It almost seemed like Aerith was hesitant to take Tifa's hand. For about two long seconds she just stared at her hand, not really knowing what exactly to do with it. "Oh, yes. Pleasure to meet you too." She cautiously took the brunette's hand and shook he briefly before letting go. She giggled nervously, her arm around Cloud's waist. "Well, dear," she said to him, "aren't you going to tell me exactly _who _this is?"

Tifa gave her a confused look. "I think he already did that."

Cloud laughed. "Aerith, Tifa's my patient. The one and only."

She nodded. "I thought that's who she was. Anyway, I need to talk to you?"

He sighed. "I know. You called earlier." Walking over to Tifa, he smiled. "I'll be right back alright? Don't hurt yourself."

Tifa stuck her tongue out at him. "What ever are you talking about?" He shook her head, then left the room with her, closing the door quietly after them. Tifa could see their figures outside the door; he had one of those doors with the glass window that gave distorted images so you couldn't tell if the person outside was a man or a woman, unless you heard what shoes they were wearing. Sighing, she sat down on the couch, her elbows on her knees, her head in her hands. She wondered what there was to do in this office, and at first glance, there was nothing. She looked around, trying to find something that would interest her, but to no avail. She did see a baseball on his desk, and picked that up before laying back down on the couch. Tossing it gently into the air, she caught it, then repeated the process. "So doc, this is how it happened . . ." She thought that maybe she should practice getting used to speaking to him, seeing as he was now her new doctor.

It hadn't even been five minutes before the door opened again, and she saw the both of them. He was trying to get her off of him, but she refused. _I don't think she notices the door's open. _Or maybe she did. Tifa locked eyes with the woman for one second, and then Aerith stole a kiss from Cloud before leaving down the hall. He stood there, stunned, not really knowing what to do other than to watch her retreating back.

"What is it, your first time being kissed or something?"

Cloud shook his head, glaring at her, before walking back into the room and sitting down behind the desk. He saw her with the baseball, but didn't say anything. Tifa shrugged, laying back down and resuming her activity with the ball as before, like nothing just happened. In the corner of her eye she saw Cloud staring at her, or maybe past her, and instantly stopped what she was doing. She had this strange feeling that he might've been watching her, and that made her slightly paranoid. "What?" He shook his head, looking back down at some files he'd just taken out of his drawer. For a moment, he just stared at them, not seeming to do much of anything. Then he got one in particular, pulled it from the rest, and read over it several times. As he looked at that one, he cross-examined, pulling several others from the stack and looking them over in accordance with the first. After a few minutes of reading and re-reading, he put them down and looked at Tifa. She was still staring at him, and from the sudden onset of his gaze, she yelped, toppling over and off of the couch. She heard his laughter, and began wondering just what was so funny.

When Tifa stood, he was still laughing, his head back, sitting in the chair. She huffed, sitting on the couch and throwing the baseball at him. It landed on his forehead solidly, and he gasped, falling back in his own chair from the surprise and impact. His hands swiped across the desk, the papers rising and flying all over his area. At that, it was her turn to laugh. She leaned back on the couch, laughing, wondering just how angry he was going to be with her, but she found that she didn't really care. It was funny, downright hilarious. Now she understood just what was so funny.

Standing, she walked over to the desk as he was getting back up. "Are you alright doc?" she asked, trying her hardest to not laugh. He groaned, holding his head and looking at her with some new interest. She thought he wanted to strangle her, but instead he just shook his head, gathering his files and putting them back into the folder he'd found them in. Those files were then put into a bag, and he sighed. "Look, I'm sorry. It was just pure instinct. I won't hit you in the head with anymore baseballs, I promise." She smiled.

Cloud shook his head. "That's an empty promise. You could always find something else to hit me in the head with."

Tifa sighed. "I'm not going to hit you with anything else. I mean, you're supposed to be helping me right? I don't want you to be incapable of doing that because you've suffered from brain damage or something." She smiled at him. "I need you, remember?"

His eyes softened, and he grinned back at her. "Right. But you're not needy." She nodded at that. "Alright then . . ." Looking around the office, he wondered just what the two of them should do now. How to start her off with this whole "rehabilitation" thing. Well, he couldn't really call it that. She just had to get back on track with stuff, her medication most importantly. That was the main reason why she couldn't function properly-- she'd stopped taking her medicine. And that led to drastic changes in her mood, behavior, and personality. _I guess I can understand. Not through experience, but the monthly with Aerith. She totally changes._ The thought made him chuckle lowly, and Tifa gave him an odd look. Cloud shook his head, picking up the bag and putting the strap on his shoulder. She only stared, watching his every move. Cloud walked over to her, his hand wrapped around the strap, a smile on his face. "So, shall we be going now?"

Tifa blinked. Her motions with the ball stopped, and she turned her head slightly, her eyes still on Cloud's frame. "Go . . . where?"

* * *

She found herself in her concrete cell, packing what little amount of items she had here. Cloud was acting strange, only smiling, and not telling her a damned thing. Tifa didn't like it when people kept things from her. It made her slightly more paranoid than usual. But, no matter how much she hounded him on the subject, he just wouldn't budge. Cloud had no mind to tell her what he was planning for her. When they left his office he just said,

"Pack your things and get ready to leave."

She began wondering about that sentence as they walked down the halls of the institution toward her room. What was he doing? For one, he couldn't obviously think they were going to release her into his care. He was new here right? They didn't trust him yet, he didn't have a reputation here. What was his deal? Or, maybe, they're letting her go because they just want to find some excuse to say they let Tifa Lockhart go. She knew she caused them a lot of trouble, and, most of the time, she didn't mean to. It really wasn't her fault . . . Okay, well most of the time it was. Since she stopped taking her medicine, which was a voluntary choice, it became her fault if she caused disturbances. But, she just couldn't function right with the meds. Sure, it helped her stay sane, but at what cost? She felt terrible. She always had a headache, throwing up was a bit too frequent for her. And, she couldn't think straight with it. _I mean, I think straight, but that kind of thinking isn't what I'm used to. I **like **my jumbled thoughts and mixed-up words. I cannot see things any other way. _Tifa wanted, so desperately, to get better. More for her kids than for herself. But, there was that really strong, selfish side of her, which wasn't so prominent while she took her medicine. _Ugh. This is just so confusing sometimes . . ._

She turned to Cloud when she was done packing, who had his head tilted back, his eyes closed. His hands were in his pockets. He stood very still, and the lighting reflected harshly off of his hair. Nevertheless, Tifa continued to stare at him. There was something about his current position that just fascinated her to no end. Of course, she had no idea why it did, but it did. Then, she found she had no words to say when he caught her off guard by straightening, his head coming down, his eyes meeting her own. For a long moment, they stayed this way, trapped in each other's gaze, before Cloud coughed into his hand. Tifa giggled, putting the strap of the duffel bag on her shoulder. It began to dig into her bra strap immediately, and she could already tell she wasn't going to like this bag very much.

"Are you ready to go?" Cloud asked her.

Tifa shrugged. "I guess. I have nothing else to pack . . . wherever we're going, is there a phone there?"

He tilted his head minutely to one side. "Yes. Why?"

"Well, I've got to call Yuffie and tell her where my new location is! She's supposed to be bringing to kids to see me next week . . ." Her voice grew quiet, her eyes shifting to the floor. "And, it's been a while since I've seen them . . ." Tifa sighed, beginning to feel that hopeless feeling creep over her. She really hated that feeling, when she was starting to feel sorry for herself, and like there was nothing she could do about it. _But there is! I just gotta take that stupid medicine, and I'll be fine! No relapses! _Shaking her head, Tifa looked back up at Cloud, a weak smile on her lips. "So, are we leaving now?" Cloud nodded, but said nothing else as he walked over to her. Smiling, his put his arm around her shoulders, and they walked out of the room.

To Tifa's utter surprise, they _did _let her go, waving with cheery smiles and wishing her well. _Well in what? That I die soon? _She only smiled and waved back, not saying anything, even though there were several people to whom she would like to give a piece of her mind.

As she walked out of the door, the man from the other day ran up to her. He grabbed her hand, keeping her from walking outside. Tifa gasped, turning around, immediately defensive, before she realized who it was. He wasn't much of a threat now that he didn't have a gun. _Lord, what does this guy want? _she thought to herself. Her stance straightened, but she remained tense and ready to act at any given moment.

"Thank you."

She blinked. _Thank you? _That was something she wasn't expecting. Only people every told her thank you were the kids.

"You . . . let me know that there's more to life than what you've lost. And, I thank you for that."

Her brow furrowed, but Tifa nodded nonetheless. "You're . . . welcome." She didn't remember the last time she'd helped someone, especially on this grand a scale as having preventing a life from being lost. And, now that she looked at him, his face looked eroded by stress and pain. Now that he wasn't flushed with anger, she could really see the wrinkles that were deep-set in his forehead and his cheeks. Her eyes softened, and she smiled. "You're welcome," she said again, this time with more finality.

As she left, he said after her, "I wish you well."

She knew it was the only farewell that was genuine.

* * *

Okay! There's Chapter 5!!!  
Wonder how many more I'm gonna get in this fic....  
School started August 24th, so if I take a while to post, I'm sorry people!! School is muy importante para mi!  
I hope you all understand! Don't be mad D :  
By the way, anyone wanna guess where Tifa will be going?  
The prize for answering correctly: I'll answer any _**one **_question you have. Only one, so make it count!  
But, that's only if you get the answer right! ^.^


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